It’s said that most people can tell if they are attracted to somebody within the first 90 seconds of meeting them. Physical attraction plays a big role when it comes to selecting who we prefer to date or even have a fling with. As humans, it’s normal for appearance to be one of the first factors when looking for a partner, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When we first meet somebody, we build desire through how physically attracted we are to that person. It’s pretty simple—most people want to be with somebody they find attractive, and everybody has a different view of what they consider that to be.
Wait, or is it that simple? Because on the flip side, attractiveness can grow and fade when feelings get involved. Here are a couple of scenarios for you (that might sound all too familiar).
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
You go on a date or meet somebody and have great conversation, but the spark isn’t quite there. Maybe he’s not the “type” you’re typically attracted to or you’re hung up on whatever “ick” you’ve set in your mind. You’re open to seeing this person again though, so you go on another date, have a nice time, and find things you both have in common. He’s kind, he follows up post-date—he does all the right things. You agree to another date and slowly but surely gain feelings and become more and more attracted to the person. All of this comes with maturing and figuring out your personal priorities. Do you want somebody who only brings intimacy to the table because you’re wildly attracted to them? Or do you want the full package where the attractiveness stems from how they treat you (like the queen you are) to the point where you can’t keep your hands off each other AND they genuinely care about you and want to explore a future with you? The answer is clear, right?
OK, so onto scenario two:
You’re spending time with somebody you find crazy hot (like scary attractive—your gut knows the ones who are so good-looking that there’s got to be a catch). So you go on a couple of dates (most likely drinks or late-night hangs) because ofc, anything else would be too much commitment. You hook up, catch feelings even though you told yourself “this is just a fling,” and then you’re ghosted. You make excuses for his nonexistent communication because on a high level, you’re blinded by the red flags since “he’s so hot and the sex is so good.” You’re crushing hard, but deep down you know. Then it hits you and he does something to really set you off. All of a sudden, you see this person in a different light, and they become less and less desirable. You start to look back and think, “OK, wow, XYZ behavior was not cool.” Something switches in your head, and you no longer view this person as being as attractive as you did on date one. Which again, proves to trust your gut. Once this happens, the best advice is hard, but it works: literally, just stop thinking about this person. It takes a lot of self-control, but do it for you! You deserve the whole package.
Shop essentials for a 'me' night:
Up next, shop the newest items from the Poosh Shop here.