Skip to main content
TREAT YOURSELF—FREE SHIPPING ON ALL POOSH DOMESTIC ORDERS. SHOP NOW.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
By Kourtney Kardashian Barker
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
5 Energizing Morning Yoga Poses 
5 Energizing Morning Yoga Poses 
How to Manifest the Relationship You Want
How to Manifest the Relationship You Want
How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult
How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult
3 Yoga Moves to Help Boost Your Immunity
3 Yoga Moves to Help Boost Your Immunity
What Common Sustainability Buzzwords Actually Mean
What Common Sustainability Buzzwords Actually Mean
DYK: Morning Sunlight Is Naturally Healing Infrared 
DYK: Morning Sunlight Is Naturally Healing Infrared 
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Meet Your Summer Curly Hair MVP
Meet Your Summer Curly Hair MVP
The Poosh Mother’s Day Gift Guide
The Poosh Mother’s Day Gift Guide
Why You Should Consider a High Tech Facial
Why You Should Consider a High Tech Facial
Our Camp Poosh 2025 Photo Diary
Our Camp Poosh 2025 Photo Diary
Meet the Campers: Here’s Who’s Staying With Us At Camp Poosh 2025
Meet the Campers: Here’s Who’s Staying With Us At Camp Poosh 2025
Why You Should Try An Oil Cleanser—No Matter Your Skin Type
Why You Should Try An Oil Cleanser—No Matter Your Skin Type
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Salmon Sushi Bake
Salmon Sushi Bake
Garlic Parmesan Chicken Caesar Sandwich
Garlic Parmesan Chicken Caesar Sandwich
Pepperoni Hot Honey Pasta Salad
Pepperoni Hot Honey Pasta Salad
Strawberry Matcha Frozen Clusters
Strawberry Matcha Frozen Clusters
Avocado Sweet Potato Toast
Avocado Sweet Potato Toast
Beet Ricotta Cheese Pasta
Beet Ricotta Cheese Pasta
  • family
  • kourtney
Part One: Life Lessons from Kourtney
Part One: Life Lessons from Kourtney
What Kris Jenner Is Reading Right Now
What Kris Jenner Is Reading Right Now
Kourtney’s Birthday Sale Is Here!
Kourtney’s Birthday Sale Is Here!
What Khloé Kardashian Is Reading Right Now
What Khloé Kardashian Is Reading Right Now
Inspired by Kim Kardashian: 3 Total-Body Gym Moves
Inspired by Kim Kardashian: 3 Total-Body Gym Moves
Kris Jenner’s Martini Recipe
Kris Jenner’s Martini Recipe

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • About
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Sexual Wellness

FEELING DISCONNECTED in the Bedroom?

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @figaro_many
@figaro_many

Things just aren’t what they used to be … in the sheets? Feeling like roommates with your partner, or like there is some sexual dissonance? Sometimes it’s timing, sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it’s physical … but something is off, and it’s becoming more and more crucial to you to get it back on.

First things first, let’s all normalize this. Sexpert and author of On Top: Your Personal Study Guide to Holistic Sexuality, Cheryl Fagan, reminds us that relationships and intimacy ebb and flow. This isn’t a catalyst for catastrophe, a reason to start worrying, or the beginning of the end, necessarily.

“[Try not to] judge yourself or your relationship, and stay open and curious. The answers are within you!” Fagan encourages. Here are some of her tips to reconnect in the bedroom.”

Check in and connect with yourself 

“How are you connecting with your body lately? You may tend to be busy, living in your head these days, but grounding yourself will help you to be more present, emotionally, physically, and erotically.”

Consider the culture of your relationship 

“How are you connecting outside the bedroom?”

     

  • How’s your friendship? Are you connecting over non-sexual activities? Or just busy living alongside each other? Think doing activities together like cooking, going for a walk, or reading a book together
  • Do you have honest conversations? If you both come into the conversation with love and wanting what’s best, the awkward or hard topics will be easier.
  • How is non-sexual affection? Does it still exist? This is so important. More cuddles, kisses, massages, hand-holding, etc.
  • Shower each other with love and respect. Accept your partner for who they are. Accept yourself. Are you building each other up? Try eye gazing: for one minute, stare into each other’s eyes (no talking or looking away) and think about what you are grateful for in your partner/relationship.”

Get the sexual energy flowing 

“In long-term relationships, desire, intimacy, and erotica take intention and cultivation. There is nothing wrong with ‘working’ on your sex life. Just like anything that’s worth celebrating in life, a healthy sex life takes preparation and intention.
 

  • Prioritize erotic time. Make it a ritual and set your intention—sex with your partner is sacred and nourishing. Choose each other, to pleasure each other, and yourself. Literally schedule erotic time, erotic play, sex, sensual time—your relationship and connection are worth it. Put phones away during these times.
  • Gratitude!
  • Breathing, ground yourself in the moment. At the beginning of sexual play, look into each other’s eyes or close them, whichever you prefer. Breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and breath out for 4 seconds. Repeat a few times.
  • Sensual touching. With your carved-out time, focus on sensual touch/massages and connecting rather than penetration and climax.
  • Pleasure sessions. What’s your pleasure? Choose a certain amount of time for each partner where one gets to decide how they would like to be sexual or intimate. It could be a massage, a bath, certain music playing, going down on one another, etc. How would you like to indulge in one another? This is practice for asking what you want and a chance for you each to be selfish (in a good way).
  • Practice embodiment. Connect to your body and all your senses through mindfulness, meditation, yoga, sensual dance, deep breathing, etc. Which senses feel most sexual to you? Discuss with your partner.
  • Remove sexual blocks. What are some sexual inhibitions you have? How is your self-esteem? Are there medications that cause a decline in your libido? Are you too concerned with your ‘performance’ rather than just being present and focused on pleasure and one another?
  • Keep talking about sex outside the bedroom. Discuss what turns each other on instead of assuming. What does sex mean to you personally and your relationship? What positions would you like to try or are your favorite?”

Shop Poosh-approved items to heighten your sex life:

Shop Arc G-Spot Vibrator
Shop Aer Suction Toy
Shop Zee Bullet Vibrator
Shop MunkeyBarz Sex Belt
Shop Eva Couples Vibrator
Shop Pom Flexible Vibrator
Shop Let's Get Closer: Couples Edition
Shop Fin Finger Vibrator
Shop Unscented Moisturizing Cream
Shop Com External Wand Vibrator
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Red
Shop Sydney Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove Set
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Glove Set
Shop Sydney Glove - Red
Shop Radiant Love Butter
Shop Dip Basic Vibrator

The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that Poosh, LLC (“Poosh”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and Poosh does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that Poosh shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

Related Articles

Goes to article How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Sex Life
Sexual Wellness

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Sex Life

Goes to article Top 5 Most Popular Sexual Wellness Stories 
Sexual Wellness

Top 5 Most Popular Sexual Wellness Stories 

Goes to article How To Stimulate These Underrated Pleasure Points 
Sexual Wellness

How To Stimulate These Underrated Pleasure Points 

Goes to article It’s Time To Have “the Talk” … With Your Doctor
Sexual Wellness

It’s Time To Have “the Talk” … With Your Doctor

Goes to article Why Am I So Tired After Sex? 
Sexual Wellness

Why Am I So Tired After Sex? 

Goes to article Creating a Vulva Skin Care Routine
Sexual Wellness

Creating a Vulva Skin Care Routine

Goes to article An Herbal Concoction To Make You Wetter
Sexual Wellness

An Herbal Concoction To Make You Wetter

Goes to article The Benefits of Morning Sex
Sexual Wellness

The Benefits of Morning Sex

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved