Sex can be an incredible mind, body, and soul experience that can leave you feeling joyful and fulfilled. Sex can also leave you with sensations of emptiness, which could create feelings of being detached from your body or even your partner. Some may avoid sex altogether if they don’t know what is causing them to feel anything other than greatness. Why do some people have incredible sex while others are uncomfortable, unsatisfied, or both? There are many reasons why, and it may be just one or a combination of mental, emotional, and physical differences. If you are not having mind-blowing sex and orgasms, let’s figure out why that might be and what you can do about it.
First, we need to take a look at how our sex life is impacted by our mental health. Mental and emotional health are often confused with one another. Mental health is our ability to process information. Emotional health is our ability to be aware of and express the feelings that we have already processed. If our brain is not processing information correctly, then our emotional health will most likely be impacted. Our brain health is very important for sexual functioning and satisfaction. Nearly one in five people are dealing with mental health issues. If you suspect your sex life is being impacted by your mental health, please seek out a professional to assist you. Your quality of life is at stake if you are not operating in the best form of yourself that you can be, and it all starts with your brain.
So if our brain is processing information correctly, it is now up to us to be aware of how we feel and how to effectively communicate that to someone else. If you are unsatisfied or not enjoying sex as much as you would like to, then try to communicate that with your partner. This is where emotional intelligence comes into play. You should always be your own advocate. If needs are not being met, sexually or otherwise, bring it to your partner’s attention. Creating a discussion that hopefully leads to a solution, that you come up with together, is a great start. Strong communication skills are a key factor in and out of the bedroom, so it absolutely helps to convey your feelings. If you or your partner needs to develop stronger communication skills, you can seek the help of a therapist. It can greatly help your sex life and strengthen your relationship.
Now, let’s get down to the physical aspect. As many as one in four women have pelvic floor dysfunction that can impact their sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm. Many women have bladder and bowel issues, painful intercourse, trouble orgasming, low libido, and vaginal dryness. Even without dysfunction, our pelvic floor health is a vital part of our sexual health. Misalignment in our pelvic floor can lead to nerve entrapment and decreased sensations. Pelvic floor muscles that are too tight or overstretched, even without symptoms, can make orgasming more difficult. Pelvic floor exercises can help women improve their ability to orgasm, the intensity of the orgasms, and their overall sexual satisfaction. These exercises increase the strength, tone, and elasticity of the pelvic floor, which yes, can give you that “wow” sex that you’ve been desiring.
If you suspect your mental, emotional, or physical health is holding you back from having the best sex possible, then I would encourage you to seek help. We all deserve to be having incredible and satisfying sex.
Courtney Virden has been a fitness trainer for nearly 20 years and specializes in women’s health and wellness. Being a mom of two and experiencing many issues from her own pregnancies led her to focus on women’s pelvic floors. With her passion for helping others, Courtney created an online program to share the tools and resources she uses with her private clients.
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