Vikki Dougan Photo by Ralph Crane, LIFE 1953
Ah, the orgasm. Some of us consider it imperative to intimacy, some think of it as a lucky but near impossible byproduct, and some feel we aren’t capable of them at all while others frequently enjoy multiples. None of these notions are incorrect. The orgasm is incredibly personal, and unique like a fingerprint.
Most of us are familiar with external orgasms. The joy button is hiding in plain sight. It’s pretty hard to miss the clitoris, and fingers crossed, our partners (or ourselves, of course) can toy around with rhythm and pressure until we know what is right. Because when you know, you know, ya know?
But what about that other one? An orgasm via penetrative sex? Many women believe it’s impossible, or don’t quite understand what the difference is. The answer is everything … but also, not much. We’ll let Casey Tanner, therapist, writer, consultant, and founder of QueerSexTherapy, take it from here.
“External orgasms are the most common kind for people with vulvas. They occur when you or your partner touch or rub the head (external part) of the clitoris. While many enjoy stimulating the clitoris directly with a tongue, toy, or hand, some folks find that direct stimulation feels uncomfortably sensitive. If you feel overstimulated, try massaging the clitoris indirectly through the folds of the labia. Once you find a spot that feels good, center your attention there with a
consistent rhythm and stroking motion.”
“Internal orgasms also involve massaging the clitoris; however, this time the body (internal part) of the clitoris is stimulated indirectly through the anterior vaginal wall. This sensitive part of the vagina is best known in popular culture as the G-spot, but is more accurately understood as a much larger network of tissues called the clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex that work together to produce an orgasm.
This pleasure center is most readily accessed via penetration with a toy, fingers, strap-on, or penis. Angle the penetrating object or body part upward as it enters the vagina, as if it’s aiming for the belly button. Using lube as needed, experiment with different rhythms and intensities and notice how they feel. You can also increase blood flow to and pleasure in your vulva by actively contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles (aka kegels) to help facilitate internal orgasm.”
Essentially, we can thank the almighty clitoris for both external and internal orgasms—we just have to map out our own pleasure. This includes rhythm, pressure, speed, angle, and instrument used. It’s science, ladies and gents. Get to researching yourselves.
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