Everyone has relationship questions. It just so happens that Nick Viall, The Bachelor himself, has become a go-to person for great, witty, no-nonsense answers. We thought we’d ask him to pull his standout favorite Q&A’s from his regular Sunday Ask Nick segments on IG @nickviall. Learn the answers to common dating questions below.
Question: I’m addicted to cyberstalking my boyfriend’s dumpster fire of an ex. What’s wrong with me?
Nick: Deep down, you’re insecure she has something you don’t. But that’s just in your head. You’re giving her power she doesn’t desire or hasn’t asked for.
Question: I owe my ex $500. He has blocked me on everything. Can’t get in touch…what the heck do I do?
Nick: He would rather not have $500 than speak to you. Take this as a sign to move on. Go buy yourself something nice. You tried. Don’t let $500 be some BS excuse to keep reaching out. We always try and find a reason to not move on.
Question: Do guys like lingerie? My husband isn’t into it…
Nick: Lingerie is like whipped cream on an ice cream sundae. Sure, it makes it more fun and exciting, but it’s still pretty damn good without it.
Question: Met a guy on Bumble but having a hard time with the fact that we met on Bumble. Advice?
Nick: That’s like having a hard time with the fact that you were served food to eat at a restaurant.
Question: Help me remember why I should not reach out to my ex. We broke up two weeks ago.
Nick: Because reaching out will make him despise you and disappearing will make him wonder what you’re doing.
Question: How do you ask a guy if you should make things official?
Nick: Well don’t ask and don’t just leave it up to him. Take control of what you want …don’t give away your power. At whatever point you don’t want to keep investing more time in him without a commitment, you should say: “I would love to keep spending more time with you, but only if we are on the same page … I don’t want to see other people. It’s OK if you don’t feel the same way. This is how I feel. So, if you don’t feel the same way, we should stop doing what we’re doing.”
Question: My boyfriend and I are going on a break. Thoughts?
Nick: I think if it was his idea he is taking a break to meet other women and not be labeled a cheater.
Question: Is it worth asking him what went wrong?
Nick: It ended. You’re welcome. Next.
Question: He says we are in a committed relationship but is still using dating apps. Thoughts?
Nick: I think you’re not in a committed relationship.
Question: Advice on not being jealous in a relationship?
Nick: Figure out what you’re insecure about. Could be your own stuff. Could be something they are doing to make you insecure. Address the insecurity.
Question: My ex wanted to rekindle and communicate better, but then he ghosted me. WTH?
Nick: Exes going to be exes. He got bored, convinced himself time apart changed the past (it doesn’t), then realized why it ended in the first place.
Question: Tips to avoid players.
Nick: 1) Don’t hang out with any guy who isn’t willing to make plans with you in advance. 2) Inconsistency is a red flag. 3) “I’m too busy for a relationship” just means they don’t like you enough to make you a priority and they want to have the option to have sex with other women.
Question: The guy I matched with is still dealing with emotional abuse from his last relationship. Help him or run?
Nick: Fixer-uppers only work in real estate.
Question: I like unavailable men. Why?
Nick: Because you want to feel special. And you’re taking a toxic approach of equating attention from unavailable men as special attention.
Question: Having a hard time opening up to my new guy due to trust issues (my ex cheated). Any advice?
Nick: Trust is a choice. They are not your ex. It didn’t kill you last time. It won’t ever kill you. So, choose to be trusting rather than resentful. You only give your ex more power by letting them impact your feels in a new relationship.
Question: How do I be happy after my now ex-boyfriend cheated on me with a really close friend?
Nick: Learn that friends and boyfriends come and go, and as we get older, we get better at finding the people who bring more love than hurt to our lives. Life is a journey. Learn from the lows. Enjoy the highs.
If you have your own question for Nick, head on over to his IG stories every Sunday, and ask him!
Ryan Haddon, ACC, CH, is a certified Life and Spiritual Coach, as well as a hypnotherapist. She works remotely with clients globally, helping them create their best life. You can follow her on IG @ryanhaddoncoach or visit her website www.ryanhaddon.com.
Nick Viall is an American actor, television personality, and model who had a starring role on the 21st season of ABC’s The Bachelor, after finishing as runner-up in two consecutive seasons of The Bachelorette. Nick is also the host of the popular relationship-focused podcast, The Viall Files, which received 2.8 million downloads last month and is nominated for a People’s Choice Award at the moment for podcast of the year 2020.
