The search for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with can be daunting and feel hopeless when someone checks all the right boxes but still doesn’t give you that extra oomph, that special spark that makes it all worth it. I’m not saying you should lower your standards and go with someone who can’t pull their weight in the relationship, but take a good look at what you require in a partner. Sometimes, compromising on one of those limits will help you find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Let’s take a look at some of the things women typically avoid that could stop them from finding their soulmate.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Women mature faster than men; it’s just a fact of life. That’s why it’s no surprise that women will give younger men the shaft when they show interest. Before you nix all of the younger men who want to take you out, consider these benefits:
• Men hit their sexual prime in their mid-20s, while women won’t hit their prime until their late 30s or early 40s.
• Your dates will be adventures—younger men love to be spontaneous, so be prepared for a 10-mile hike as a date.
• Women who date younger men may even be more successful in their professional lives. While it’s not exactly scientific, a survey by an online dating site found 50% of women who date younger men hold managerial positions. That is 17% above the average, giving these women a big boost.
If you’re passing up a chance to be with someone because they are shy in groups, don’t go out in the party scene a lot, or because they don’t seem very assertive, you are missing out. Introverts may be shy around people at first, but they are some of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. With an introvert, there’s no trying to guess at their feelings. They build strong emotional relationships with their partners and take the time to really get to know you. An introvert will prioritize understanding you and love you just the way you are.
Dating Someone Who Didn’t Finish College
If you’re still holding on to your requirement that your partner has to have a college degree, have you heard of Bill Gates? Gates dropped out of Harvard, so I know this example is a bit extreme, but it goes to show that just because someone didn’t finish college doesn’t mean they aren’t ambitious.
• Is he a skilled tradesperson?
• Does he hold a position of authority?
• Is he starting his own business?
The trades cost much less to study and can often be learned while getting paid. A skilled welder can make more than a top-level manager, so don’t take a tradesperson’s lack of college education as laziness—it’s a brilliant choice.
He may have, instead, climbed the ladder at his job without a formal education, or be working on starting his own business. Evaluate your partner’s intelligence on more than a college degree if you want to find someone who matches your intelligence and ambition.
Dating Someone Who Isn’t Conventionally Attractive
It should go without saying, but the way someone treats you and others will show through much more than charming good looks. When you’re not immediately sexually attracted to your potential partner, you can realize what you really want in a relationship is to develop deeper feelings than a surface-level sexual attraction. The person will work hard to impress you and go the extra mile to make sure your needs are met.
While there are many other boxes that you may need to reevaluate when it comes to finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, remember to put yourself first and trust your instinct when something doesn’t feel right.
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Dalia Hendrix is a self-love and relationship expert, coach, and therapist. She is passionate about encouraging women to build lasting confidence and thrive in their relationships. She specializes in the areas of dating and marriage, inspiring women to heal negative behavior and thinking patterns and move on from toxic relationships. You can follow her on IG @iamdaliasmith.
The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that Poosh, LLC (“Poosh”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the author only, and Poosh does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that Poosh shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.
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