Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
A Perfect Workout for Your Ovulatory Phase
A Perfect Workout for Your Ovulatory Phase
7 Easy Biohacks You Can Start Doing Right Now
7 Easy Biohacks You Can Start Doing Right Now
Do Opposites Really Attract?
Do Opposites Really Attract?
The Self-Care Ritual That Actually Relieves my Pain
The Self-Care Ritual That Actually Relieves my Pain
Is Trauma Trapped in Your Body?
Is Trauma Trapped in Your Body?
How Arousal Mapping Can Awaken Your Desire
How Arousal Mapping Can Awaken Your Desire
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Stylist Dani Michelle Shares Her Transitional Dressing Must-Haves
Stylist Dani Michelle Shares Her Transitional Dressing Must-Haves
Poosh Product Picks: Madeleine Rose
Poosh Product Picks: Madeleine Rose
Poosh Pause: My Bali Reset
Poosh Pause: My Bali Reset
How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
I’m Getting Married in 8 Months—This Is My Expert-Approved Skin Treatment Schedule
I’m Getting Married in 8 Months—This Is My Expert-Approved Skin Treatment Schedule
How to Thrive, Not Just Survive
How to Thrive, Not Just Survive
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Hormone Healthy Raw Carrot Salad Recipe
Hormone Healthy Raw Carrot Salad Recipe
Must-Have Items New Moms Swear By
Must-Have Items New Moms Swear By
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Under $50: Chic Bathroom Organization Accessories
Under $50: Chic Bathroom Organization Accessories
  • family
  • kourtney
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Why Kourt Loves Seed Cycling
Why Kourt Loves Seed Cycling
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
Kourtney’s Wet Hair Look: The Breakdown
Kourtney’s Wet Hair Look: The Breakdown
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

CAN PEOPLE Change?

By Michelle Afont
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @phaedrapeer
@phaedrapeer

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, then we do our research and craft a story to answer as many questions as we can. The topic of our latest submission: second chances. Can people change? Should we give a lover who hurt us a second chance? We tapped Michelle Afont, relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and multi-published author, to share her thoughts below. 

We have all heard the sayings “Once a cheater always a cheater” and “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” If you believe either of these statements to be true, you may be missing out on an incredible romance with a partner who can and will change his errant ways. 

One of the biggest mistakes we make in love is to sprint away at the first sign of trouble. Whether it be infidelity, dishonesty, questionable behavior, financial matters, lack of communication, or something as simple as household chore division, change from your partner is possible under the right circumstances. A high percentage of partners can, will, and do change.

If I made the mistake of thinking my husband could never change, I would not be living the incredible life I live today. This holds true for the majority of couples I work with who have overcome great obstacles through growth and change. 

Now, let’s be clear, some things are deal breakers, but a majority of them are not. Why? Because our partners are human. And humans make mistakes. Couples do not cruise through life on autopilot, each never making a poor decision or having a lapse in judgment. When notable change from one partner is warranted in order to keep the relationship alive, the question becomes, “Is the relationship worth fighting for and saving?” If it is, and both partners are committed, the opportunity should be given to the one partner to change.

Change requires action. Therapy, counseling, behavior modification, and communication skills all demonstrate a willingness to change. Inaction from your partner, however, means saving your relationship is simply not a priority. How much time you give to see change will ultimately depend on two things: Your level of patience and the progress being made. A promise to change is nothing without taking action to change. 

The ultimate question when change is needed to save the relationship is, “What is your partner going to do to correct the behavior, and how will it be prevented from happening again?” Do not stand by and wait for change without action on the part of your partner. Have a timeline in mind while still giving the opportunity for change. 

While change can occur on many levels, it is important to note that core values are very difficult to change. A lack of conscience and remorse are not changeable traits. The same holds true for most political beliefs, pathological behavior, and an extreme lack of empathy. 

Perfection in a relationship is not attainable. Someone along the way is going to need to make certain changes in order to keep the relationship afloat. Successful relationship changes can range from learning to share duties at home to becoming a devoted and faithful partner. Change can happen, and in most instances, you will emerge as a stronger and more committed couple once the changes are solidified.

Michelle Afont is a relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and author of The Dang Factor. She has witnessed firsthand the reasons for the demise of over 50% of the marriages throughout the United States. Her vast experience in the world of breakups, heartbreak, makeups, and re-launching love is the reason she changes the way women love. Michelle has conducted extensive research on the intricacies of love, commitment, faithfulness, and what really makes a relationship work. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for more relationship advice.

Want more advice? Here’s how to get back into the game after a dry streak. Plus, the ultimate guide to dirty talk.

You may also like...

Go to article Do Opposites Really Attract?
Relationships

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Go to article Do You Choose Your Friendships Like You Would Your Relationship?
Relationships

Do You Choose Your Friendships Like You Would Your Relationship?

Related Articles

Goes to article Do Opposites Really Attract?
Relationships

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Goes to article Try These Intuitive Relationship Hacks for Next-Level Communication 
Relationships

Try These Intuitive Relationship Hacks for Next-Level Communication 

Goes to article What to do if he has a Small Penis
Relationships

What to do if he has a Small Penis

Goes to article 10 Signs Someone Is Good for You
Relationships

10 Signs Someone Is Good for You

Goes to article The Science Behind Being Lovestruck
Relationships

The Science Behind Being Lovestruck

Goes to article How to Thrive in the Bedroom 
Relationships

How to Thrive in the Bedroom 

Goes to article How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
Relationships

How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags

Goes to article The Dos and Don’ts of Dating
Relationships

The Dos and Don’ts of Dating

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved