Can Going to Bed Angry Actually Be Good for You?

When was the last time you went to bed angry and woke up more angry?

Drawing a blank? Sleep helps us have a more objective stance in any argument. It gives us time to process our often messy emotions and ask ourselves, was it really that deep, or was I just in need of some rest and space?

I am not a relationship expert, but in working on We’re Not Really Strangers, a purpose-driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections, I’ve learned to value the art of questions. Asking them more intentionally to others and ourselves allows us to show up more intentionally in our interactions.

Rest and reflect on the below when you find yourself in any argument with your significant other, family member, or friend. Answer honestly.

1. Am I seeing the argument objectively or through the lens of insecurity?
2. In my current state of mind, am I able to fully respond to my partner, family member, or friend, or am I just reacting? (Reacting is impulsive; responding is intentional.)
3. What is my potential emotional blindspot in this situation?
4. What is this argument bringing up for me? What is my ego/fear telling me right now? Do I know for certain that it’s true?
5. How can I approach this conversation with love (especially if it feels hard to in the moment)?
6. Am I taking something out on my partner, family member, or friend that really isn’t about them?
7. Am I viewing this argument as an opportunity to grow with my partner, family member, or friend or as an opportunity to win? Be honest.

Slow down your response rate to things that hurt you. Before reacting, take time to process. Sometimes going to bed angry (contrary to popular belief) can be the best thing. It allows you to sort through your emotions and show up in a way you can feel proud of.

Remember, you don’t have to have it all figured out tonight. Sleep on it.