Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
Why You Should Elevate Your Legs for 20 Minutes a Day
Why You Should Elevate Your Legs for 20 Minutes a Day
Weird Dreams? These are the Most Common Culprits
Weird Dreams? These are the Most Common Culprits
What Is Shadow Work and How Do I Start It?
What Is Shadow Work and How Do I Start It?
What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone
What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone
3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together
3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together
5-Minute Wake-Up Pilates Routine
5-Minute Wake-Up Pilates Routine
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
I Got a Brow Transplant, and I Swear it Made my Face Look Younger
I Got a Brow Transplant, and I Swear it Made my Face Look Younger
Hot Rollers Are Back, Baby
Hot Rollers Are Back, Baby
You’re Giving Compliments Wrong
You’re Giving Compliments Wrong
How to get Naturally Plump Lips in Minutes
How to get Naturally Plump Lips in Minutes
We’re Loving Latte Makeup for Fall—Here are the 3 Must-Have Products You Need For It
We’re Loving Latte Makeup for Fall—Here are the 3 Must-Have Products You Need For It
How To Keep Your Tan After Summer, According to Jennifer Lopez’s Spray Tan Artist
How To Keep Your Tan After Summer, According to Jennifer Lopez’s Spray Tan Artist
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Our Exclusive ’80s-Inspired 818 Cocktails
Our Exclusive ’80s-Inspired 818 Cocktails
Poolside With Poosh ‘80s-Themed Playlist
Poolside With Poosh ‘80s-Themed Playlist
Apple Nachos Are the Perfect Fall Snack
Apple Nachos Are the Perfect Fall Snack
Stacey Bendet’s Ginger Tea Recipe 
Stacey Bendet’s Ginger Tea Recipe 
Chef K’s Vegan Churros with Vegan Chocolate Ganache
Chef K’s Vegan Churros with Vegan Chocolate Ganache
3 Minimal-Effort Recipes To Bring to a Labor Day Party
3 Minimal-Effort Recipes To Bring to a Labor Day Party
  • family
  • kourtney
Kourt’s New Weekly Tea Rotation During Her Pregnancy
Kourt’s New Weekly Tea Rotation During Her Pregnancy
Kourt’s First-Trimester Tips
Kourt’s First-Trimester Tips
5 Things To Know About Kourt’s New-ish Wellness Practice: Brain Mapping
5 Things To Know About Kourt’s New-ish Wellness Practice: Brain Mapping
Kourt’s Top Pregnancy Snacks
Kourt’s Top Pregnancy Snacks
Why Panchakarma is Kourt’s Holy Grail Detox
Why Panchakarma is Kourt’s Holy Grail Detox
How Last Weekend’s Gender Reveal Party Came Together in Less Than 48 Hours
How Last Weekend’s Gender Reveal Party Came Together in Less Than 48 Hours
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

Do You Have DATING ANXIETY?

By Claire Byrne
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @80svintagepulps
@80svintagepulps

The thought of meeting a stranger on the Internet face-to-face in order to see if there’s a romantic connection feels like an automatic hard NO. It’s too awkward if one or both of you aren’t interested, and you cringe at the idea of sitting there when you already know you never want to see this person again.  

Also, what if he’s a criminal?!

Or, you make it to the point where an actual plan is in place, and right before the date, your eyes feel heavy….Cue your brain saying, “SLEEP is what I actually need—NOT a man!”

Or perhaps you aren’t even aware of your dating anxiety…

You just tell yourself and the world that you’re “SO BUSY!,” but if you somehow organically meet the right person, you’d be open to it.

Here’s the good news:

Dating anxiety is SO normal!

I actually think it’s weird to NOT experience any.

Especially when we start to actually like the person.

Naturally, my clients want to make their dating anxiety go away, but here’s why that doesn’t work:

When you’re searching for your person, your desire is high, combined with the fear of getting hurt, as well as the fear of being judged, (especially if you’ve experienced rejection and ridicule in past relationships) so OF COURSE, your brain is going to feel anxious when you put yourself out there again.

So, what I want to offer is that when your dating anxiety inevitably arises, you learn how to MANAGE it, versus get rid of it.

So, here are 5 ways to manage your dating anxiety—NOT get rid of it:  

1. Accept that anxiety is a part of the process.

When you allow the anxiety to be there, you are more inclined to keep the love search going, versus indulge the anxiety, react off of it, and then decide to not go after what you actually want—TRUE LOVE!

Pinpoint what is actually making you so anxious. 

Dating anxiety will be different for everyone, so figure out what exactly is causing YOU to freak out. 

Are you afraid you’ll be rejected?  Are you resistant to putting in precious time to a bunch of people who end up being no’s?  Scared all of the good ones are gone? Cultivating awareness on what the actual cause of your dating anxiety is can often diffuse it simply by getting to the root of it.  

Manage the reason why you’re so anxious.

Insecure about your looks or your current financial status?  Worried you’ll miss some major red flags? This step might seem contradictory, because on the one hand, I’m suggesting that you accept your anxiety in step one, but on the other, you do have the opportunity to practice new ways to manage whatever it is that’s specifically making you feel anxious. 

For example, if you’re worried someone won’t like you for you, your work is to learn how to love YOU for you—not morph yourself into someone you’re not in the hopes that they’ll be interested in you. Or, if you’re over going on a bunch of dates with lame people who you think wasted your time, I’d suggest reconnecting with your desire to find love and see if you can shift your thoughts on whether or not it’s true that someone you’re ultimately not interested in ACTUALLY wasted your time. 

Perhaps, remembering your “why” behind your search for love inspires a willingness to go on 200 dates in order to find your person. (No—200 is not a typo!)

4. Be willing to accept disappointment on your dating journey. 

Be willing to accept disappointment on your dating journey.  Right before the first date with my boyfriend, I was feeling very anxious, and I got clear on why. My thought was, “I really want him to like me and I really want to like him!” 

My brain was putting a lot of pressure on this first date because the build-up was so positive, so I asked myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” And what I came to was, “We’re not into each other and then I experience disappointment…Oh!  I can do that! 

I’m for sure willing to experience disappointment in order to find my RIGHT person.” I still ACCEPTED that I was anxious before the date, but I managed it by pinpointing what was making me anxious, and then consciously worked through it WITHOUT needing it to go away, but the irony here is that it did help dissipate the anxiety!

5. Remember that dating can still be fun!

Don’t forget that you are looking for LOVE! Love is EXCITING. Blissful. Magical. FUN. Even if they don’t end up being your person, you may still have a great story for the books or a learning lesson you didn’t know you needed that ultimately leads you to the RIGHT person.

You DO have the ability to tap into FUN energy. What feels fun for you? What topics of conversation are fun? Does dressing up for date night feel fun? If so, buy or borrow a cute top or dress. Pick a fun place to meet up!

When you make your dating journey fun, you will ATTRACT FUN, and even better, you’ll for sure dissipate some of the natural anxiety you’re experiencing in the process. 

Shop our sex and love collection:

Shop Unscented Moisturizing Cream
Shop Dip Basic Vibrator
Shop Zee Bullet Vibrator
Shop Aer Suction Toy
Shop Pom Flexible Vibrator
Shop Com External Wand Vibrator
Shop Arc G-Spot Vibrator
Shop Eva Couples Vibrator
Shop Fin Finger Vibrator
Shop Let's Get Closer: Couples Edition
Shop Radiant Love Butter
Shop Biodegradable Intimate Wipes
Shop Refresh Daily Wash
Shop Revive Hydrating Mist
Shop Restore Mask
Shop MunkeyBarz Sex Belt
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove Set
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Red
Shop Sydney Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Glove Set

Claire Byrne is a heartbreak/finding-love coach and host of her podcast, Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better. For more information, go to clairetheheartbreakcoach.com.

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article The Sex Was Really Bad…What Now?
Relationships

The Sex Was Really Bad…What Now?

Go to article Are Multiple Orgasms Really a Thing? 
HEALTH + WELLNESS

Are Multiple Orgasms Really a Thing? 

Related Articles

Goes to article People Pleasers—Let’s Stop Doing This in the Bedroom
Relationships

People Pleasers—Let’s Stop Doing This in the Bedroom

Goes to article What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone
Relationships

What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone

Goes to article 3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together
Relationships

3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together

Goes to article Your Guide to Phone/Facetime Sex
Relationships

Your Guide to Phone/Facetime Sex

Goes to article Boundaries vs. Ultimatums 
Relationships

Boundaries vs. Ultimatums 

Goes to article Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?
Relationships

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Goes to article Why Some People Take Breakups Harder Than Others
Relationships

Why Some People Take Breakups Harder Than Others

Goes to article How To Know When It’s Time To Let Go of a Friendship
Relationships

How To Know When It’s Time To Let Go of a Friendship

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved