There’s a shift happening: more people are quietly rethinking their relationship with alcohol, recognizing how it impacts their mood, clarity, and energy, and realizing that fun doesn’t have to be followed by a foggy morning after.
And yet, choosing not to drink often invites interrogation.
Cue the comments:
“Why don’t you drink?”
“Don’t let me drink alone!”
Or “You’re no fun — lighten up!”
As if passing on a cocktail automatically means opting out of joy.
And during the holidays, aka peak party season, those comments can feel even louder.
But we’re here to tell you that opting out of alcohol isn’t the same as saying no to a good time. So we tapped addiction and wellness specialist Erica Spiegelman to share some realistic, non-awkward ways to navigate events when you’re sober, sober curious, or simply choosing to cut back.
Here’s how to protect your peace, stay social, and enjoy yourself.
1. You don’t have to be the DD.
Not drinking doesn’t automatically make you everyone’s chauffeur or emotional support human.
“If you aren’t drinking, always take your own car or Uber so you don’t get stuck and feel obligated waiting on someone who is drinking a lot or driving someone who wants to stay till late hours in the night,” says Spiegelman. “That way, you stay on a healthy sleep schedule/routine.”
Sounds like a major boundary win to us.
2. Set the expectation in advance (with others and yourself).
“If you don’t want to drink or don’t want to drink a lot, time management and creating boundaries with your time are key,” says Spiegelman.
Tell the host you’ll be there for an hour. Or let your friend know you’ll be ducking out early. The transparency can free you from any guilt.
Then set your own internal expectation — maybe it’s one glass max, or no alcohol at all. This clarity will help you stay aligned with your intention instead of winging it in the moment.
3. BYO (non-alcoholic) B.
Translation: don’t rely on the bar to meet your mocktail needs.
“Bring your own sparkling waters, kombucha, and any other non-alcoholic drinks, so you know you will have something healthy to hold and don’t have to rely on the host to have something you will enjoy,” Spiegelman shares.
Consider it emotional insurance, because sometimes holding something in your hand just…helps.
4. Have a mantra...yes, really.
It might sound a little woo-woo, but your nervous system listens to you!
Mantras Spiegelman suggests:
- “I am a strong woman who doesn’t need alcohol.”
• “I can have fun with one drink.”
• “I am a healthy person who holds boundaries.”
These don’t just reinforce your intention; they also strengthen it. They actually interrupt and rewire old scripts.
5. Bring someone on the same page.
A sober buddy changes everything, even if they’re just “one-drink-only curious.”
Spiegelman also suggests “Bringing a supportive friend who also isn’t drinking or is cutting back. You’ll feel less peer pressure.”
And if that person isn’t available IRL? Group chat therapy counts. Text someone who gets it.
6. Make plans for the next day.
“Create accountability for the next day,” says Spiegelman.
Some of our ideas include a morning walk, a pre-paid Pilates class, or a morning-after coffee date you’ll want to wake up for.
Future-you will thank present-you, especially when you’re not hungover.
7. Take pride in your boundaries.
Because this isn’t about restriction, it’s really about reclaiming autonomy over your energy, emotions, and experiences.
“Be proud that you gave yourself these boundaries and stuck to them,” Spiegelman says.
Being sober or sober curious doesn’t mean you’re boring — it means you’re aware and willing to show up fully present instead of half-here.
And that’s its own kind of fun.
Shop our health and wellness collection:
Kourtney x Barker Wellness
Kourtney x Barker Wellness
Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.
